My Fort lewis group finally exploded so I am oganizing a giganic bitch session so they can get all of their feelings out and either get over it, try and work it out, or dump it all and leave. Whatever is fine with me, but I am sick of the ridiculous drama. I demoted all of my asst managers and I am going to let them all duke it out. It's what they want to do anyway. Maybe they will finally get over themselves, and if they don't I can say i tried everything and start banning people for stupid things everytime they barely cross the line. Eventually that will get rid of all the drama queens right?

I am so tired of being fat that I want to kill myself sometimes. Not really, but ya know what I mean. I am so mad about it I could scream, especially moving here and seeing Gretta look gorgeous. I am so, so, so, so, so happy for her. I absolutely am. I am just so, so, so, so, so jealous and seeing her makes me feel bad. Not her fault of course. Just the way it is. I love her too much to let it bother me that much though. I will just have to WORK and lose this weight, no matter how unfair it seems that I have to work so hard just to be halfway normal. Now if we would just get our dislocation allowance I could get myself that exercise bike and hopefully drop enough weight to do regular exercise like walking without practically suffocating from getting out of breath. I swear my back hurts ALL DAY EVERY DAY, and I have no idea if that is from the weight or the scoliosis, but I am going to lose the weight and find out dammit. I am tired of going down the stairs and huffing and puffing and holding my back before I even head back up them again. I just don't get it. I am really not THAT fat. I shouldn't be dealing with this for the small things that I do. UGH!