12.03.02
Well, Adam had a hard day because he got literally 10 minutes of sleep before work. He had to have his dress uniform ready for inspection ahd still had to put his rifle thing on, and 4 patches on. We have no sewing machine, and it's impossible to find a shop to do it open as late as he all of a sudden remembered to do it, so he had to do it all by hand. It took him all night. He laid down for a half hour, fell asleep for about 5 minutes, and then the alarm went off for him to get up for work. He got dressed and laid on the couch and fell asleep for 5 minutes and then his ride knocked on the door. When he got to work everything was on there right, but since his skill as a seamstress (or whatever they call male seamstresses) completely sucks, they gave him until friday to get it done professionally. "A" for effort, "F" for skill. At least he didn't get in trouble! I am hating the Army right now. When Adam re-enlisted they told him no bonus. I won't go into the reason, but basically its a military intelligence thing. Well, a friend of mine's husband is about to re-enlist and sawitch to MI, and they are getting a $20,000 bonus. Fuck the Army. They are good to us, so I won't curse them anymore than that, but dammit why didn't we get a bonus? UGH! Anyway, this is just making me mad so on to better things. It is now December 3rd. Today is my mom's birthday. I have no time on my phone card to call her, but I have a feeling she will be calling me to remind me that it is her birthday. She is weird like that. So, I will be stuck on the phone with her for an hour listening to her talk about my bratty step-sisters that I could really care less about, and her lack of a job and all of the supposed prospects she has and people that really want her. Blah blah. Makes me wonder, if that was all true, and she was such a hot commodity, why isn't she gainfully employed yet? Oh well, what can you expect from a child abandoning, enabling, co-dependant, ex-druggie with mental problems. Oh wait, I said onto better things huh? Sorry about that. Adam and I are going through this whole pregnancy scare thing again. It seems to happen every few months without fail. The only thing that is different about this time is that every other time I have skipped a period, taken a test and gotten a negative, and then started my next period right on schedule if not sooner. This time I have not taken any tests, and I am 3 days late on yet another period. The only way I am going to buy another test anytime soon, is either if I get some sign or symptoms to tell me that I might atually be pregnant besides lack of bleeding, or if EPT gives me some stock for being such a loyal customer. Otherwise, I am going to wait it out as long as I can. That means either until Adam comes home with a test, or I start bleeding like a stuck pig again. I am at the point now where I just don't care anymore. If I am, then great. If I'm not, then great. I am done with the hoping and worrying and nerves and disappointment. I am living healthy, so if I am then finding out late isn't going to hurt me any. So good riddence. I am nervous enough about raising kids now-a-days anyway. What if they get caught up in gangs, or get killed and I have to go through that pain, or they have to live through all kinds of tragedy like war, or they are just little hellians, or they are just never happy and wish they had never been born at all. I just look at the state of the world and wonder why anyone in their right minds would bring a child into this world. The world is not a very good place right now. There is so much evil and contempt everywhere. But, then I see a little baby, or a touching tv show, and I start to think of how wonderful it would be if I could actually do it right and raise a happy and sucessful child and all of the joy that having a baby would bring to my life. Maybe I should just stick to my cat....
Before
&
After |
|
quote
 navigate
did you miss?
links
|
