02.01.02
I know, it has been a few days since I updated. Please forgive me. I have had alot on my mind. Maybe I should have come here and written about it instead of buying a pack of cigarettes and smoking again, but nooooooo, I can't do things the easy way. And YES I KNOW, smoking is bad, and I was doing so well. I just have things on my mind that are really bothering me, and I felt like doing something bad to make myself feel good. At least I have control over something, even if it is something that will eventually kill me. I am not buying another pack after this one, though. At least, I don't THINK I am. I won't say never, because I said it when I quit the first time, and you see how well that turned out. At least my mouth isn't hurting this time. Usually when I stress out, my mouth hurts like crazy and I can't even eat. I don't know if smoking helped with that at all, and I won't attribute it to the smoking just because then I will have a reason to keep on doing it. Just saying, it is nice that I am pain free.Something really good did happen today though. Adam put in for his next leave. I will get to see him again mid-February!!! I am going nuts here without him. He isn't what I am worrying about, though. I am pretty confident in our relationship so far. I have been really, really missing him though, so having him here again will definately help. This time I will get to have him for more than a weekend. I really wish I could go to Phx with him after he leaves here. (He has to split his leave in between here and Phx since his Dad and sister live there.) I don't see how that would be possible, though. I just really want to see how we are together day and night for a few weeks, and I mostly want to introduce him to my family there. I plan to make him a part of my life permanently, and the sooner I can make my family a part of his, the better. I figure if I am going to scare the boy away by introducing him to my relatives, I may as well do it before I get too attached......
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