11-24-01
Today was the first snow of the winter and I had a blast playing in it with Gretta, Billy, and Angela. I, of course, freezed my tooshie off, but I had a blast anyway. We have been waiting for snow for days and so we ran outside when it finally started. We even made a miniature snowman in the front yard.
I also got to talk to my sister for the first time since I moved today. She is pretty self absorbed and is an alcoholic so partying is her first priority. I knew all of that about her, but I was still upset that it took her so long to call me. She was my best friend in the world before I left to come here. It seems that her life is getting a litle better though. When I left she was getting kicked out of the place her and her boyfriend lived and they had nowhere to go. Now she has two jobs, he is working again, and they are moving into an apartment at the beginning of the month. I wish she would just dump the jerk and find someone who will treat her right, but I know how hard it is to leave a comfortable relationship, and how easy it is to convince yourself it isn't that bad.
Well, I have decided I am done trying with people. I am tired of being ignored, underappreciated, and taken advantage of. I blocked a few so-called friends from seeing me on their lists today because I am tired of them deleting my emails and I would rather not talk to them anyway. I make an effort to try and be a good friend to people but they seem only interested in being the same with me when it is convenient for them. I have no idea if it is human nature, or I just happen to know alot of jerks, but damn I am sick of it. For once I would like to be the one someone else seeks out. I know it sounds like I am complaining cuz no one likes me, but it isn't that. I have tons of friends that fight for my attention all the time, as they should. But there are a select few that make sure to let me know that for some reason I should be lucky to have them, instead of the other way around. I am just mad that the people that I bother to waste my time talking to are so stupid that they can't see that they probably don't even deserve my attention. Haha. I know, I know, now I sound like a total bitch, and really I'm not. I just don't get people somtimes. I guess I should stop expecting people to have the manners and common sense I do......
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