11-22-01
It is now officially Thanksgiving. I am glad to be here instead of in AZ fighting with my family over doing dishes and cooking, but I also feel a little out of place here. Gretta's family has been very welcoming to me and I appreciate it alot. I just really wish that I had my own family to have traditions with. The holidays are my self-pity time. I am the only adult here that is single which is weird and very depressing. I have made up my mind that I am going to exercise and get skinny if I have to kill myself trying. I did find a path I can take walks on that I don't think I will get me completely lost. It is supposed to start snowing soon though so even walking will be out of the question. If only I didn't have scoliosis. Exercising would be so much easier if it wasn't all stuff that I just can't do without hurting myself! I could go back to starving myself, it worked okay before and I started to lose weight, but I have a feeling that Gretta would shoot me before I could kill myself. I am just so tired of being me..........
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