At around 4:45 PM yesterday I was sitting at the computer looking at groups and doing my normal fill my time with meaningless internet junk routine. All of a sudden I got this AWFUL pain in my face. Like someone was stabbing me right in the jaw. I sat there for a second to see if it was a spoof, and it happened again, so I got up to take some ibuprophen and every step sent another stabbing pain through my jaw. Adam came home a few minutes later to me sitting at the computer holding my face. I told him that it hurt, and he apologized, but then he saw me crying (it REALLY HURT, and I have a *really* high tolerance for pain) so he called the ER and asked them if he should bring me in. A few minutes later (I had to find my bra and some shoes ) we are on our way to the ER.

Then we waited... and waited... and waited. We sat and watched almost everyone else get called in before us. Everyone EXCEPT the people who actually got there before us. There was this loud woman with two hellian kids (who was there because her daughter fell and bumped her knee, although her daughter was running around the ER like a banshee) who got there an hour after us and waited maybe 15 minutes. She has on a set of those ugly printed nurses scrubs with abstract neon geometrical designs on them, so I am thinking maybe she worked there so she got preferrential treatment. There was a guy sitting in a wheelchair who got there about an hour and a half after us, and he had a fever. He got a freakin' wheelchair for a fever. Of course he got called back after about 25 minutes. While those people are getting called back for minor things, there is in the ER, a little girl with a 104 degree temp who looks MISERABLE, a girl crying her eyes out cuz she is in so much pain from hurting her hand which is wrapped up in a massive amount of napkins, a guy spitting blood into a cup (and having to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes to dump it because it would get full), and me with my face hurting so bad there are tears streaming down my face. Sitting there waiting.

I need to work as a triage nurse. I would fix that system right quick.

Side note:

Here is a cute thing that happened while we were waiting. I am sitting next to Adam putting my jaw right on his shoulder and pressing down as hard as I can to try and make the pain go away, I look like hell, I am crying, my face is swollen and red from the pressure I am putting on it, and I feel even worse than I look. People are looking at me, either because of the hair or the fact that I am holding my face but they see no blood or bruising, and Adam is starting to notice. He looks down at me and motions to the rest of the ER with his eyes so that I will look up and see them all staring at me, which makes me a little self conscious. Then he says, "I know what they are all thinking." So I say, "Oh you do ya now? Well, enlighten me, oh psychic one." Then he says the sweetest thing ever. "They are all wondering how an ugly guy like me got such a beautiful girl like you."

Say it with me now (cuz I know you are thinking it). Awwww!!! He made me want to cry, but for the good reasons this time!

Okay back to the story. Once we finally get in there I figure they are going to tell me it is from my wisdom teeth growing in or because one of them has cavities or something, give me some pills, and send me home. Then when the intern starts poking around in my mouth and jaw and realizes that pressure isn't making the pain worse, he gets all scrunchy faced and decides he needs the senior resident in there to look at me, too. Then this short guy with HUGE FINGERS starts trying to choke me. Having his fingers in my mouth was like having someone give me an exam with a bratwurst for a thumb. He taps all of my teeth with some metal stick, pushes on every place he can jar my mouth open far enough to fit his chubby fingers into, and they sit and talk about my symptoms and crap. Then he tells me that it *could* be my wisdom tooth, but because there is no swelling or discoloration, no sensitivity in any of my teeth, because I clench my teeth all the time (even though I don't grind), and because the pain shot around my jaw so much, he is diagnosing me with TMJ.

The wisdom tooth thing I could have been happy with. That means when I get them out the pain will go away.This TMJ thing is freakin me out a bit. I don't want to deal with face stabbing pain forever.

Of course the outcome was the same. They sent me home with a bottle of motrin and told me to come back if it got worse.

So that is my exciting ER story. Full of drama, intrigue, romance, suspense, mystery, and the fat fingered doctor from hell.