10.04.02
Today absolutely sucked. I have no idea what is wrong with Adam, but it is starting to annoy me. He has been a grump for days. I am thinking it is because we are going to quit smoking tomorrow and the prospect of it has made him a monster, but whatever it is, he won't talk to me about it. He just tells me he has no idea what's wrong, he's just grumpy. Instead of trying to get out of a grumpy mood, he wallows in it and snaps at me. He is taking all of his anger at whatever in the world is pissing him off, and concentrating it on me.
Today my brother-in-law was in Washington and had called asking how we can arrange to meet so that I could get some of my stuff that I have in his truck. All I did was ask Adam, "So how are we going to do this?" and he went off on me. He actually yelled at me! That is not like Adam at all. I was completely shocked, so I went into the bedroom and layed down and cried. He followed me in there like 5 minutes later, after he was done with whatever was so important on the computer, and when he asked me what was wrong he still had that tone in his voice. Then for the rest of the day he escaped into his computer and did things like make 3D images that he will never use, and ignored me completely.
We didn't kiss all day. It took me going over to him after it got dark, and sitting on his lap bwetween him and the computer, to get him to kiss me.
Then after Marshall got here and I finally got him off the computer so we could spend some time together, he falls asleep on the couch.
I know he is computer addicted. I knew that all along. I just never would have thought that spending time on the computer would be more important than spending time with me. It's as if he thinks that I am on the computer all day every day while he is at work and it's his turn when he is home. First of all, I don't spend all day every day on the computer at all. Not even CLOSE. I may stay signed in, but I check the message boards maybe twice a day for a half hour at the most when he is at work. Secondly, since when do we have to compete like that for the computer? Like he has to even it out? We aren't siblings competing for who gets the bigger piece of chocolate. I do my best to stay off of the computer when he is home, and I am hardly on at all unless he is asleep, especially on the weekends. I feel like his computer is more important to him, or makes him happier, than I do. It may sound out there, but today he EVERY time he looked at me he had a scowl on his face. Then he would turn to the computer screen, start typing away to someone, and get this huge cheesy grin on his face. Talk about a blow to the ego...
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