04.01.02
I feel a little better today. I tried to eat some ham, and it made me feel sick. I tried to eat some popcorn and it made me feel sick, too. Otherwise, I have only had a few bouts of really irritating nausea, and they were mostly early this morning and when I tried to eat. Another problem that I had all week is now gone, too. (I didn't say what the problem was then, so I'm not going to say it now either.) At least I think, and I hope it is gone. It seems to be gone. Now it is just that I feel gross. I want to eat but I can't seem to. I still feel SO MUCH BETTER, though. I wish I felt normal, but at least I feel better. As for the pregnancy thing, I doubt I am, although it is always a possibility. I think talking about it yesterday made me feel less worried about it so maybe that is why I am feeling better. I still haven't started my period, or figured out exactly WHEN I am supposed to have it in the first place. If I was pregnant, I wouldn't be upset about it. I certainly would wish that it hadn't happened on accident. It is a bit too soon considering we aren't married yet, but I would be happy. I want kids and I want them with Adam. This wouldn't be the best circumstance, but if I am pregnant, then of course it would turn out fine. At least if I was I would know that all of this nausea and sickness and misery was for a very good reason! Haha. Of course, if I'm not, I will be happy also. There is plenty of time in the future to have kids, and a wedding would be nice before the kids come along. Adam and I were careful, and if I am, then it was an accident, not just stupidity on either of our parts. (And YES I know that the ideal and smartest thing to do to avoid pregnancy is to NOT have sex til after the wedding.) Until I know either was for sure, I am just going to look at the positive sides of either situation, whatever happens.....
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