< MaiKaMahi
04.18.03
Adam got home yesterday and I was so happy. I was so depressed and sick when he was gone because I missed him so much. What a waste. Today was the second day he was home and he spent ALL day on the computer, drank all of the alcohol in the house, and smoked all of my cigarettes while I was asleep. Then when I woke up and was upset, he didn't even apologize. He tried to avoid me by falling asleep on the couch. I am livid. He fed me all of this bullshit about how he didn't want to be a computer addict and he had wasted so much time that he wishes he could get back and spend with me, and how he hated himself when he drank and he never wanted to drink again, and how he wanted to quit smoking. BULL SHIT. He was just blowing smoke up my ass to keep me happy while he was gone. I was so mad earlier that I slammed the bedroom door and broke it. Then I found the empty alcohol bottles and threw one in the kitchen and broke it all over. Now he is sleeping in there probably drunk, and I am going to be up all night with no cigarettes and completely hurt and betrayed by him. I wrote him a long nasty email, of course, but he will probably ignore that too. I don't get it. Why is he being this way? Why is he SO SELFISH? What can I do to make him stop? I want to just bail. I wnat to leave and let him suffer. I just don't think that would help though. I just don't get what I did to deserve this. Now I don't believe anything he told me about all of the money he spent in Cali. he went over there and had a good time and probably drank with his buddies, and I was here completely stressed out and crying for DAYS over finances. I don't trust him. I never thought we would be at this point, and here we are. I thought he was different. I feel like such a sucker.

Before & After

Sweet!
Happy Anniversary to me!


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